It was a different time and place, and I was happy. I remember how the colours changed, how the waves crashed peacefully onto the sand, and how I thought of you, how i longed for you to be with me, beside me as i stared into the horizon. I imagined your hand in mine, as my mind planned the next time I would make my way there again, with you beside me.

I remember, as I stared into the sky and felt the water tickle my feet, I remember missing u so much that it hurt, n I realized how much I really loved you and how lucky i was to have found you. Your absence made me realize how much u meant to me, and how stupid I was for denying my feelings and never telling u, never showing you how much i love you.

I made a vow that day, to tell u how much u mean to me, to tell u what a sweet soul u are, to tell u that I love you as much as u love me, maybe more. I had so much I wanted to tell you. How for once in my life, I didnt only think of myself, I wasnt selfish, and i stayed in town for u, for the chance that we can make forever come true.

I was too late. I knew something was wrong the moment I heard your voice. I wish I'd done things differently. I wish I wasnt so scared to really give all of me for what could have been, I wish for once I didnt hold back, wish I could have let go and lose control with u by my side. Now I'll never know.

I cant hate u, though I wish I could to make things easier. I'm not as disappointed in the breakup as I am with u, and the way u decided to lay it all out to me. I would have understood if u gave me a chance and shared your worries with me. I thought u were better than that, i know ur a better person than that. I thought we were friends. We could hav stayed friends. Instead all we have are a trail of empty promises.

I thought i was over u. But then I messed up my car, my baby after u. Used to be anyway. And it made me remember that promise I made to u. Which is what started this train of thought. But I guess all promises are null and void now. Empty words amounting to nothing. Wish I could hate u, for how easy it was for u to walk away, but i think i hate myself more for never being able to do it myself. For knowing we could never work but letting u work your way into my life. Wondering if it really meant anything to you all this time.

We were never the conventional couple. It never really felt like we were a couple no matter how many times we said it. We never did things that couples do. N I cant really miss what was never there. But I do miss how hearing your voice and knowing u were there can make me feel instantly better. U left me at a time when I need u the most, but I guess u couldnt have known that.

Sitting here now, wishing u never came into my life, but cant really imagine going through those months without u being there for me, when my life was crazy, having u believe in me more than anyone ever did, myself included. Wishing I kept that promise i made, so i wouldnt hav crashed into that car, and started thinking about u again. Hating the stubborness in me thats telling me its ok that i messed up my car just cuz it means that the promise I made to u is worthless.